Your Role as the Father!
Support of Mother
Many say abortion is “a woman’s choice” but the woman in an unexpected pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can’t confide in many people about this crisis situation. Be careful that you don’t say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs through this difficult time. Like a champion! Inform her immediately that she doesn’t need to have an abortion to please you.
Compliment her multiple times during the day. If you are taking a break or having lunch at work, then text her with a compliment.
Show her you care by taking care of her cravings. During the pregnancy women’s cravings change. One week it might be pickles and ice cream. The next week it may be peanut butter and butter. Following that she may not want to see any food at all.
Go to the Childbirth classes with her. The bonding time is good for all three of you (unless you are having twins, then the four of you). It may be a bit awkward at first, but remember you are there for her and your baby not anyone else.
Help reduce her stress, not add to it. Mom’s hormones can be pretty erratic during the pregnancy
Support of YOUR Baby
Start building that relationship with he/she is still in the womb. The baby can start hearing things around 18 weeks. Talk to her belly and start sharing how you look forward to seeing him/her when they are born.
Read to the baby. By reading to the baby you may help them be a better reader when they get older.
Play some Classical music softly to them by putting headphones on Mom’s belly (with Mother approval).
Go to the childbirth education classes with Mom. The bonding time with mom and baby are extremely helpful for the man just as it is for the woman and the baby.
Ask questions and be involved. The only wrong question is the one not asked. None of us have all the answers, but between all of our experiences we can help each other make it through.
Exercise with mom to help the baby’s health.
If you and/or Mom smoke, then stop smoking. We have Tobacco Cessation classes here at the Center are free of charge. The classes are provided by a local AHEC office.
Is She Pregnant…
Life throws plenty of curve balls at you. A champion is one who knows how to handle the curve balls and not one who turns away from them and wishes it would go away. Let’s face this together. Lots of couples experience a “surprise” pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future. Don’t be pressured to blindly take a swing at something that isn’t right for you or her, like if your friends and family tell you abortion is your only option.
Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have significant risks of which you may not be aware. Be a good partner with her and discuss the best options available. And remember, there are folks at the West Pasco Pregnancy Center who can help you both make informed decisions.
One very interesting thing about abortion that we have learned from people that made this choice is that most couples break up soon afterwards. Abortion doesn’t seem to be the glue that holds a relationship together. Feelings of betrayal and hurt, compounded with the grief over the loss that results from abortion, can separate two hearts forever. If you care about this woman, encourage her not to abort.
While Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers and advocates do not recognize Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS) as a valid condition, PAS has been recognized by many psychologists and doctors.
Take a look at the information below:
“Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS) is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD often occurs after an individual has suffered an event so stressful and so traumatic that this person is unable to cope with this experience in a normal manner. Following a traumatic event, victims of PTSD are unable to simply resume their lives where they had left off. Instead, they experience a variety of reactions that do not go away merely with the passage of time. The symptoms of PTSD (and PAS) vary from case to case, and sometimes these reactions may not arise until years after the event. Nonetheless, this is a serious condition that needs to acknowledged and treated in order for the person to recover and resume a normal life.
According to Safe Haven Ministries, some common symptoms of Post-Abortion Syndrome are:
Depression and Thoughts of Suicide
Sudden and Uncontrollable Crying
Deterioration of Self-Esteem
Disruption in Interpersonal Relationships
Sleep, Appetite, and Sexual Disturbances
Thoughts of Suicide
Anniversary Syndrome: An increase of symptoms around the time of the anniversary of the abortion and/or the due date of the aborted child.
Re-experiencing the Abortion
Preoccupation with Becoming Pregnant Again
Anxiety over Fertility and Childbearing Issues
Disruption of the Bonding Process with Present or Future Children
Survival Guilt: the sorrowful resignation that “It’s me or you, and I choose me.”
Development of Eating Disorders
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Classes For You
- 1 on 1 Counseling
- Parenting Classes
- Educational Materials
- Material Assistance
- Relationship Building with your family